GUILD, Guest Blogger, Treasure, and Dead Horses
1d3 Ogre Memories: 1.) It's first toenail clipping 2.) It's first basketball tryout (it really preferred curling but it's parent banked on that sports scholarship) 3.) Being awoken by the party.
Our monthly newsletter comes to a head, and this month we’ve got a nice little guest entry from my good friend Crab Dominion! He’s just set to launch a Kickstarter for a new Mothership adventure called "Memory.” I’ll post the link below this blog post—so don’t fucking stop reading.
Also there’s a code in this newsletter for 20% off our webstore. Find it, and you get a treat. It’s a super high tech incentive for you to read the whole newsletter.
Treasure
Adventurers love gold and glory and will go to great lengths to get both, which is why you should make treasure a burden at every opportunity. Here are a few ideas to do just that, and a special surprise table at the end, just for you.
Weight
The obvious place to start when making treasure a burden is just that, the burden. The weight of treasure should be insurmountable; if it’s been stashed away by its owner, it should be nearly impossible to carry around. When the party finds loot, the trove should require a choice: spend the time—and risk the dangers—of moving it all out, or stay safe and leave some behinD.
Traps
Perhaps the simplest punishment for greed, a trapped chest or dungeon room makes sense. The caveat is making the trap obvious, thereby forcing the players to make a choice: get the treasure and risk the harm, or leave it behind.
Morality
Adventurers walk a dangerous line: between hero and brigand, savior and seditionist. The struggle for this treasure is one of their own making: the needs of the people against their own. Placing hoards at arm’s reach, unguarded, while it is known to be sorely needed by its owner. This leaves the party with a choice: steal the loot and leave its owner destitute, or walk away with a pittance by comparison.
D36 Places to Hide Loot
As promised, a way to find the hoard of treasure.
11. Under the floor boards.
12. Behind the painting.
13. Sealed in a wall.
14. In a crawl space.
15. In a hole in the ground.
16. Set aflame by some magic, burning forEver.
21. In a cask of ale.
22. In the body of one who is willing.
23. Beneath the casket of a long-dead corpse.
24. In the storage crates of an unsuccessful merchant.
25. At the bottom of a poisoned pool, green and viscous.
26. Lodged in the mortar of a castle wall.
31. Chained to the bottom of the sea.
32. Coated in oil under a precarious torch.
33. Dissolved in a concoction, needing to dry to be reassembled.
34. Bathed in the waters of a fountain.
35. Locked in a chest whose lock triggers a poison dart.
36. Where no one would think to look.
That’s enough of Crab Dominion, but you deserve a treat for being a good spot so here’s yA go.
Memory is on Kickstarter 6/6/2023 — and it looks fucking RAD.
You can also follow Crab at the links below. He’s written a few really good things since dropping out of the nether a few months ago! I’ve even got him on the hook for a GUILD Adventure…we’ll see how that pans out…
Crab Dominion Socials
www.crabdominion.com
https://twitter.com/crabdominion
https://instagram.com/crabdominion
https://www.patreon.com/CrabDominion
Speaking of GUILD
If you backed the Kickstarter you already had the opportunity to see the sensual books I held within my silken fingertips. But if you were so uncouth, and verminesque as to have forgone the opportunity at first dibs on GUILD via the crowdfund…here’s some crumbs to satiate thy weeping tongue. You can also go to our webstore and see some high quality photos.
But it looks so good! And that’s all that matters. Rules are for rubes.
The digital edition of this game is available on itch, drivethruRPG, and our webstore!
Get the game on itch, and get a 50% off a pDf bundle with the Adventure Diary!
Get it on DTRPG, and give us a great review to boost our discovery!
Get it on our webstore, and get 40% when the print edition hits the store!
I plan to regularly support GUILD, and to start—you will be able to find regularly updated resources AND a FULLY RANDOMIZED Adventurer generator at our GUILD website — literally bookmark that website. Right now it’s just the Adventurer Sheet PDF, and the Bookmark. But I’m transcribing a full plaintext version of the game, and the GAD#0 to have for FREE?! Incredible…such grace, and compassion.
Dead Horse Magazine
It’s almost here already! Issue 1 of Dead Horse is on its way to final layout and I’m fucking ecstatic. We’ve got so many good submissions, and so many more we couldn’t even put in! I’m just so excited, I’m writing you a background for TrOika! to use in the interim.
The Dead Horse
An unsightly, and horridly decayed Equus, born with three left hooves, and a mane full of fleas. Cursed to wander the eternal deserts of Arue with naught but a camel's hump of water cradled upon it's saddle-barren back. Do not ever look the Dead Horse in the mouth; within are a thousand nightmares, from a thousand universes, and the curse suffered upon they who gaze within, is more lucid and terrible than that of the most horrific of dreams.
Possessions:
A bottomless camel hump filled with aNcient water.
A hundred dried eyes strung about its neck.
A bow tied to its tail (The Dead Horse cannot reach that far to remove it.)
Skills:
Nightmares-4
Desert Survival-3
Gallop-1
Arguing-1
Spells:
Flies from the Mouth: The Equine Abomination distends its mouth to unlEash a miasma of decay.